one year ago today…

One year ago, at this very hour, I was sleeping in my mother’s “easy chair” right next to her bed… there was a hospice nurse in the room, who was keeping an eye on mom… and mom was in her last hours of life on this earth.

In just a few hours, at about 8:10am, I would be awakened by the nurse, as she said…

I don’t think your mom has much longer to live.

…and I would stand up from the chair, turn and look at mom, and realize she had just taken her last breath.

It is hard to believe that a year has gone by since that day… and that now, she is with me only in heart and mind and memory…

Yet I know that mom is at peace, resting in the Lord’s Presence, and that there will come a day when I will see her again… (and dad… and Lemmy… both of whom got to heaven ahead of mom… I’ll see them all again)…

I miss all three of you…

I love all three of you…

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the way of love … for the sake of the Bride

Yesterday afternoon, I began to read a new book:

For the Sake of the Bride: Restoring the Church to Her Intended Beauty” by Steve Harper

In this book, Steve talks about “the way of love” as he has been led to understand it through his Lenten experience of 2014.  I have reached the point in the book that Steve has called the “intermission”… a time to pause reading, and pray.  At this point in the book, during the “intermission”, Steve asks the readers to pray for God’s Holy Spirit to put us (me) “within the way of love as never before.”

Steve isn’t talking about “love” as the world usually thinks of love…you know, hugs and kisses and boyfriends and girlfriends and Valentine’s Day and all that stuff…

No, so far in this book, Steve has been talking about “love” as God expresses it and offers it towards us and wants us to extend to other humans…you know, unconditional love towards everybody, no matter who and no matter what…forever and ever, amen… Steve has been talking about making this type of love the basis for everything we do, think and say, as we relate to everyone in the world…well, actually, to this point in the book, he has been laying the biblical foundations for making this type of love the basis for everything we do, think and say, as we relate to everyone in the world…

And here, at this juncture, he asks each of us readers to pray for God’s Holy Spirit to put us “within the way of love as never before.”

We aren’t to pray that God’s Holy Spirit does this for “the other guy”, rather that the Holy Spirit does it for ourselves…for each one of us…

I am to pray that the Holy Spirit will put me “within the way of love as never before.”

God’s way of love, the way that I am to love others, all others, is not easy… What will God’s way of love demand of me and how will it change me and where will it send me and who will it send me to?

I suspect that I will spend the rest of my life listening for God’s guidance and answers to those questions… and asking God for the courage to say, “Yes, Lord…whatever, and whenever, and wherever and whoever”!

I will pray as Steve has asked (then finish reading the book)… and I’ll trust God for the rest.

My Life…

My life used to feel simple and relaxed…

Even after becoming an adult…

But now it feels complicated…cluttered…

And a few weeks ago I became aware of…

An underlying tension…

A subtle tense-ness…

That I felt throughout my body…

That now seems to be always with me.

I don’t like it…

I want to get back to simple and relaxed…

No subtle tense-ness…

No underlying tension…

It should be possible…

To get back to simple and relaxed…

I just don’t know how to get back there yet…

But I know that one day…

I’ll get there.

New beginnings …

I think that most people might think “new things” or “new beginnings” or “do-overs” or “start overs” or whatever you want to call them… can only happen on special or momentous days… like at the start of the new year.  But that isn’t true…  They can happen anytime!!  Waking up in the morning brings a new day… a new beginning… the possibility of change and new opportunities… so every morning can be a new start… there is a saying:

Today is the first day of the rest of your life…

Your future does not have to be tied to your past…

Nor is it a forgone conclusion that your past will determine your future…

There are endless possibilities for our unknown and uncertain futures…

There is always hope!!  What possibilities will you seek out this new day?