…a time to heal…

We sat on his back porch, David* and I, thinking and talking about life and death, living and dying, and, without specifically saying the word, healing…  He had always enjoyed being outside, but as his life was slowly ebbing away, he was finding so much more beauty in the creation around him than he had ever noticed before.  He was grasping at life, even as his was being taken from him.

“For the first time,” David said, “I feel as though the cancer really has a hold on me.”

This was not my first visit with David, and I could see, even without his having said so, that his disease process was taking its toll on his body.

David continued to share with me how he had been re-establishing contact with family members, some with whom he had not spoken in years… his mother and his brothers and sisters and his now adult children… Over the past few weeks, they had all been coming to visit.  There was still one sister that he’d spoken with, but who had not yet been able to get down to visit. A time had been set though, and within the next few weeks, she would be coming…

I knew that he had already discussed with his mother his funeral and memorial services… who he wanted to officiate… where the services would be held… what he wanted them to be like… where his remains would go… things of this type. Other things he was getting set up and in place as well…

As our visit ended in prayer, knowing he was dying, and that there wasn’t anything that would change that, he said:

For the first time in a long time, I feel really good on the inside.

Healing, in the midst of encroaching death…

A sacred time…

 

*not his real name

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two weeks and one lifetime ago…

As of tomorrow, it will have only been two weeks… yet it feels as though it has been a lifetime since it happened…

Since Mom died…  Since Mom stepped through Death into Eternity… and really began to live…

Life…    Death…    then Life again…

Life forever… for all of time and beyond what we can even imagine…

For our time on earth is not marked the way God’s time in Eternity is marked…

Our time is determined by the rotation of the earth (day and night) and its revolution around the sun (seasons and years)…  it is the only way we can understand time… it is in fact the way God gave us to understand and mark the time of our mortal lives… But God’s time is eternal and not dependent on such things such as days and nights and seasons and years…

Mom’s time has changed… her time has become eternal…

I’m still stuck in the earthly time of the here and now… seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, years… determined by the earth and its relationship to the sun… at the moment, taking things one day at a time… and some days it feels as though I am just going through the motions…

I’m glad that Mom is no longer bound by her mortal body or mortal timekeeping… I’m glad that she will no longer get old (perhaps I should say older… she was already old the way we measure time and think of age…) or sick or experience pain or sadness… I’m glad that she has been re-united with her friends and family members who died, who entered eternity, ahead of her… I’m glad that she is living in the Light and Life of the Lord…  And I know I will see her again one day…

But for now…

I miss her…