age…

The other day (last Wednesday) when I visited my mom, I let her know that I wouldn’t be able to visit the following day… There was a meeting that I had to go to, and I’m still getting home from work later than I want to, and the meeting was in the early evening… so I knew I’d be getting home with only a few minutes before I’d have to leave for the meeting… so I let mom know I wouldn’t see her that day, but that I’d be by to see her the day after (Friday)…

“OK, I’ll miss you,” she said.  “And I’ll miss you,” I answered back.  A hug and a kiss, and I was on my way home.

Thursday night, it was 9:30, and I’d been home from my meeting about half an hour when the phone rang…  It was mom, calling to ask if I’d been by to see her…  (Yes, she is getting forgetful…)

“No,” I said.  “Remember, I told you yesterday that I had a meeting tonight?”

She began to cry.  “I thought something had happened to you.”

One of the nurses that helps to care for mom got on the phone and assured me that they would take care of mom and that she would be ok… I explained that I’d told mom the day before I wasn’t coming, but that mom must have forgotten…   The nurse was very reassuring and I asked her to tell mom I loved her, to give her a hug and to let her know I’d be there the next day to see her…

I am not used to seeing my mother cry… she has always been a strong person, with a personality to match…

But while her personality is still fairly strong and consistent, her hold on her emotions is not as strong as it used to be… and the thought, the fear that something might have happened to me was a little too much for her… so she cried some…

She was ok the next day when I saw her.  From now on, I will have to remember to call her on days that I don’t visit, even if I’ve told her beforehand I’m not coming…

I’m glad that my mom is still living…  And at 95 years old, she allowed to forget things, and to become afraid, and to cry…

But I’m not used to it…

Sometimes I hate “old age”… and what it does to people…

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One thought on “age…”

  1. Oh, Jonelle! I feel your pain. My mother can’t keep track of what day it is (that reminds me.. need to order her a new “big” clock that tells her what day it is). And, she usually can’t remember when either my sister or I have been to see her. (She knows she’s seen us – just doesn’t remember how long or how short it’s been). That being said….she’s still got her sharp wit and is still able to “guilt us” into doing things. And, even though we’ve been “taking care” of her for at least 3 years, it’s still hard to realize that we are now the parents and she leans on us instead of us leaning on her. I, too, sometimes hate old age and what it does to people (both the “old parents” and the children to who loves them).

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